Sick of Circus Monkeys

 

Okay, peeps. I'm not ready after all to use a cut throat razor. It's so much easier and quicker to resort to a two-blade disposable as I've done for 40 years.

The brown rice I cooked up to use for makgeolli isn't dry and cold yet. It's sitting in the unplugged rice cooker trying my patience. I could spread it out over a flat surface like a cookie sheet so it'll dry faster, or I could let it sit there to fester and maybe grow mold. Rice mold after all is what that nuruk stuff is. But then perhaps whatever wild molds float around the south side of Lexington, Kentucky might not be the kind you'd want for this, so when I get up again I will get the cookie sheet and do the right thing. Sometimes I do that. QED.

Speaking of which, yes, I know, I'm a horrible evil person. Supergeniuses often are. You should be taking that in stride by now. What else could you expect of me, who cares more for what makes sense than what people think. As usual in a conflict zone there are a lot of bloodthirsty morons, on both sides. Both sides. And those who agree with them, either of them, are just plain wrong. When one applies Reason to it, when one things and sees clearly instead of reacting in a sentimental blur, one sees that Paul was right: "For none are righteous. No, not one." It is impossible for either side to collude in the slaughter of innocence and be morally correct. War is about winning, and martyrdom needs dying, and in neither case can either side be doing what is best.

What's happening there is obvious: a whole lot of people are killing and dying over a tiny scrap of land that they just won't try to share. As the Noble Savage says, how can you own the Earth? When will they ever learn?

Dividing up the planet with borders and by treaties is not the proper course; dividing up our species into nations and races is not what we should do. Put down your guns, put down your signs, let's all hold hands and sing. Kumbayah will do, we all can learn the words. Put on those thinking caps, you people. Try out a bit of Reason.

If you won't do then for the sake of fucks pipe down and watch The Game. You're all to childish to be serious, you make the world a joke. Not a practical one either, unless you're making money at it. If you won't be sensible then sit down and eat your popcorn.

But you won't will you. You don't even want to try. Contention takes your minds off the bills you cannot pay, it blinds you to your future, it keeps the Bosses strong. That what they want you know. For you will not learn that "our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark realm." While we're fighting other the rich landlords are surely laughing until they piss their pants.

But I'm wasting my time here, as I always am. You'll never learn, oh no, you don't even want to try. So I wish for specific cleansing, the eradication of our genus. Because nobody's right, and everybody's wrong. Immanentize the eschaton already, get it over with. Take arms against a sea of troubles, in crowds or by yourselves. Turn the Earth into a living hell until we live no more.

Or you could take yourself out, quietly and calmly. Find a roof to dive headfirst from, kick the chair from under you. When a species is too stupid to continue there's nothing else to do.

Make sense or die. I'm sick of circus monkeys.

 

 

So It Shall Be Done

 

In re [URL at bottom]:

Hamas responds to ceasefire proposal, reiterates demands
By Nadine El-Bawab and Guy Davies, May 31, 2025, 3:00 PM

'Hamas' key demands are "to achieve a permanent ceasefire, a complete withdrawal from the Gaza Strip, and ensure the continuous flow of humanitarian aid," according to the group'.

 

So in other words they want Israel to surrender to them, clearly not a proposal they intend Israel to accept. No country in the world would, at a point like this. In other words, Hamas has decided that the genocide must continue. Israel won't be beaten until all the Arabs in Gaza are dead.

 

Then all y'all anti-Zionists can say "SEE? We TOLD you it was genocide!" There would be no arguing over definitions then: the total extirpation of a people from a place is, at least in that locality, genocide by definition. From here it looks like that's exactly what Hamas wants: the moral victory of having proven the TheJews(R) are the new Nazis. Nothing less will do.

 

Y'all might argue with my conclusion, I do tend to be a bit cynical and sarcastic sometimes, but at least admit the obvious: accepting Hamas' "proposal" would mean that Israel wreaked all that havoc and killed all those Palestinian children for nothing. A year and eight months of raining bombs for nothing. The "bayoneted babies" of October 7th would go unavenged.

You would have to be totally ignorant of human history, and a damn fool, to think Israel could possibly agree to that. That's not what havoc-wreakers do. Israel in this situation resembles ancient Rome, a wrathful conqueror who us determined to be feared. They're going to be hated anyway, that's what "from the river to the sea" means, so they might as well win big.

Once again, you might see what I mean when I say that I pity the Palestinians, not only because Israel is mean, but also because Hamas is stupid. Or maybe totally crazy, or high on something more fun than ketamine.

The Western countries, including the USA, are breathing down Israel's neck trying to get it to cease fire, then Hamas shows the world it cannot be serious. "Give up all your conquests, go home, say you're sorry, and make sure we get plenty of food, medical supplies, AK 47 ammo, and whatever else we might call humanitarian aid."

At this juncture we must ask ourselves What Would Caesar Do? It's obvious: Caesar would get angry, make the face of firm resolve, and say "Okay, that's it. No more Mister Nice Guy." If anybody ever wanted to give the Bibi Bunch an excuse for a final solution that would surely do. Caesar will NOT be made a fool of.

Israel has already lost in the court of public opinion: millions of well-intentioned people in the civilized world have all along been waving signs that say "Israelis Go Home." The current far-right regime has already been been damned by many many Israeli Jews who you'd expect to support it, including a few generals and a former head of Mossad, for going just a tad overboard. I cannot think of a Western head of government, except maybe Donald Trump (and/or Elon Musk?) who would not prefer that Israel quit while they're ahead.

If there was anything like a serious proposal then the big bosses of "the West" would be insisting Israel agree, or accept it as the basis for serious negotiation. And then Hamas comes out with a "demand" that no Big Boss in Israel's current position could possibly take seriously. Everybody knows that's not going to happen, including everybody who knowingly and explicitly sides with Hamas.

"You have to kill us all!" say the wise men of Hamas. "We insist on being martyred. Bombs away!"

So it is written. It shall be done. For the glory of Allah. Amin.

 

https://abcnews.go.com/International/hamas-responds-ceasefire-proposal-reiterates-demands/story?id=122382953

Musing On The Roaches In My Kitchen

 

I decided to make another batch of makgeolli (Korean rice-based alcoholic beverage), I even had the nuruk starter culture soaking to activate it beforehand, but I couldn't find the sweet rice I bought for it. So having already looked up how you'd do it with other kinds of rice that are "SNAP EBT eligible" and that I already have here I'm going to do that. Duckduckgo's AI even gave me a suggestion on how I'd make a fermented adult beverage with oatmeal and ordinary yeast (both SNAP EBT eligible) I started that before I went to bed, and the yeast and sugar are chugging right along in that old coffee canister.

So today, while I empty out my kitchen for a major cleaning in preparation for Thursday's genocide of cockroaches, I'll be soaking and steaming some brown rice to make makgeolli with. The just-add-water instant version I bought a few weeks ago that started me off on brewing the real stuff from scratch is made from brown rice, so it should turn out okay. As for the oatmeal and yeast stuff, well, it's okay if that doesn't work because I already had lots of oatmeal, more than enough yeast, and I'm not out of white sugar yet.

Another good thing about this hobby is there isn't much actual work to it. Soak and cook rice (or make it with oatmeal which doesn't even need cooking), put that in the container you're using (I have a couple old plastic canisters that coffee came in), add the starter culture to it, pour in some water (the instructions I found say if you use tap water it's better to boil it first to gas off some of the chlorine), and let it sit for a week or so. Making cider and kombucha take even less actual work, so I'm planning to try one or both of those soon.

My main hypothetical goal, teaching myself to write fiction so I can actually output output before I die of sheer frustration, requires as much time and effort as I could possibly give it, which I haven't really gotten around to yet. Maybe after the kitchen has been specifically* cleansed I can sit here sipping the results of my experiments in fermentation and finally put my brain to use in a form somebody might enjoy reading, as opposed to this crap.

- - -

* GPT-4o mini, Duckduckgo's AI, said the adjective form of the word "species" is "specific."

So getting a species out of a place is" specific cleansing." I like that. You can say that without anybody catching on that what you're talking about is the mass murder of a local population of a species called Blattella germanica that doesn't mean to harm anybody, they just happen to take up residence and do what they do where you don't want them, while unintentionally spreading germs and allergens all over the place. Some religions, like the Jains of India, would find killing those creatures (almost?) as blameworthy as murdering a human, so they'd be as horrified at me for specifically cleansing my kitchen as y'all are by Israel ridding Gaza of its allegedly aboriginal inhabitants.

One might even say that before Israel's mass murder the Muslim Arabs of Gaza were, like the cockroaches in my kitchen, just going about doing they do, which in their case involves praying five times a day, not eating pork, executing "sodomites," and wishing they could kill every Jew they see (even occasionally doing just that, which the Israeli government especially frowns on).

For some reason massively killing the inhabitants of Gaza for doing what Palestinians do horrifies Western ultraliberals far more than eradicating the insects in my kitchen, even though until 1945 that was regarded as a normal part of warfare and conquest: Julius Caesar publicly bragged about the hundreds of thousands of innocent Gauls he ordered murdered or enslaved, the British colonists of North America intentionally set out to practice their creed of "the only good Injun is a dead Injun" with horrific and almost total results, and so on.

Yet somehow a bunch of Germans following their Leader's directive to rid Europe of TheJews(R) ruined everybody's fun forever after. Nowadays you can't just cleanse away an ethnos without some distant strangers, who've got nothing to do with anything, getting their bloomers all bunched up. They call it "genocide", which technically means the murder of an entire genus (such as Homo, which is a good idea), and they wave their signs of slogans at TV cameras in your honor while vehemently chanting the most impolite things.

What might the avant le letter Americans of the 17th, 18th, and 19 centuries say about such "protests"? Some Israeli soldiers even maintain they're merely following Divine commands, as the colonists did to the "redskins" they found here. Becoming outraged at the eradication of a few hundred thousand "innocent" people is an entirely modern invention, tha wasn't really a thing until the "Judeo-Bolsheviks" (literally the Soviet government and their erstwhile allies among the Yiddim) insisted that the "United Nations" throw themselves one humongous show trial for all the world to see.

And then the Zionist leaders of certain factions among TheJews(R) used that "genocide" and the subsequent proceedings as an excuse to settler-colonialize a small section of the Levantine desert, doing to the Palestinians they found there exactly what the English did for several hundred years to the native inhabitants of the island of Ireland. You see, you come, you conquer, that's just how things go. Or it did, until a party of "Communists" and a sect among TheJews(R) convinced the world that after al, it is not the right thing to do. (There's a bit of cognitive dissonance in the dream of Zionism.)

So what am I to make of this? Well, for these and a brazilian other reasons I myself advocate for radical measures, the specific cleansing of the Planet Earth, indeed the murder of the entire genus of Homo (as some people argue that for example Germans and Rwandans are of different species), All I want for Xmas, and for my birthday, and for every other commemorable anniversary such as that of my wedding, all I really want in the world, is the extinction of humans from it. Everything we do, everything that comes naturally, such fucking and killing and gambling and waving signs, is bound to annoy some people, who the go on to annoy the rest of us with their annoyance.

Marrying people of the same sex, chopping down the Amazon forest, sacrificing beeves to an idol named Ronald, enacting cognitive dissonance on a province of Queer-killers, everything that anybody might think is fun, someone will somehow get all upset about. Very excitedly, often noisily, and when they can in awfully large crowds.

These categories of actions, certain people doing what they do and certain people loudly disliking it, impose unwelcome distractions on sensitive mentalities such as mine. What would Stalin do?

To hell with you all, I say. Get rid of genus Homo. Let "everybody dies" go from caustic quip to categorical imperative. What we really ought to do is to finally solve every problem we have, to put an end to everything we object to, to extirpate thus genus from Gaia. It's about time. It has been for millennia.

Humans OUT of this whole Earth.

From pole to pole NO human soul.

"Save the planet, kill yourself."

A Matter of Definition

What the Israelis are doing to the Palestinians *in Gaza* might be genocide, depending on which part of which definition you want to emphasize. (The same as the Second Amendment, really.) I'll agree that from here it doesn't look like they're very picky about who they kill subject to mistreatment, and that Israel might not be very unhappy to eventually discover they have killed them all. For the sake of not splitting hairs, I'll agree at this point that "genocide" does seem to apply. I wish it didn't.

The final verdict, like all historical controversies, will probably be hashed out in future conferences of academic historians and UN employees. Historians are still arguing about the "fall of Rome," and people who do such things for a living are still trying to pinpoint exactly what a "war crime" is and to elucidate examples of what is and what isn't, so let's preemptively roll our eyes at all that. I do doubt Israel will ever be dragged in front of a big court like at Nuremberg, though maybe it should; lot of our current concepts and definitions of terms developed out of that, but the fact that people can argue about whether Israel is committing genocide shows that the concepts and definitions need updating to fit the 21st century.

What Israel doing to the Palestinians in the rest of what was the British Mandate is settler-colonialism, which is bad enough, but they haven't begun to kill off all of them yet. It's basically the same as the "Americans" did to the Natives, except that they're not killing them off or driving them away. Maybe Israel will get to that later, their governments have been known to be deficient in kindness & gentleness.

Let me emphasize again that I support the Jewish people, including those in Israel, which is not the same as supporting the government of Israel, or the current ruling clique, or whoever sets the policies in the IDF. Again, I'd prefer a peaceful Israel within the pre-1967 borders, and find the lack of peace is due to the evils and idiocies of the "authorities" on both sides. Personally I think they should all learn to SHARE.

If that's not good enough, if you expect me to "sieg heil" you and agree 100% with whatever you say right off the bat, because of course your intellect us so superior to mine, feel free to go fuck yourself. As far as I can be I am a free person with a free mind. And ain't nobody done anything for me that would make me so grateful that I'll put my independence aside, nor do I need anybody's approval and/or affection that much.

For example, when my niece married a woman I decided to support same-sex marriage out of fairness, because if anybody must get married there's no reason to keep gay people from it, but I still find the institution of marriage inherently oppressively bound up with capitalism, religion, government control control of the private sphere, and of course heteropatriarchy, and I hope someday people will be able to form close bonds without needing a fucking license or even wanting one.

I support the Israeli Jews in the same spirit: that situation is so incredibly fucked up. but as long as TheJews(R) feel they need a nation-state to protect themselves they're as entitled to that as the Serbs, the Swedes, the Japanese, the Tibetans (who don;'t have one but probably should), and so on. That's not saying much, because I hate the Statism and find nationalism rather fucking misguided if not just plain wrong, but again, if the French deserve a national home so do TheJews. I wish it hadn't happened the way it did, but when people like me tried to give contrary advice to either side or both it didn't do any good.

Basically speaking "the world" sucks, and to be human is to be morally compromised in some way to some degree. Your average American is probably more objectively evil than any member of an "uncontacted people" in the Amazon forest, because our actions have much more effect on the rest of the world than theirs do; if you want to be intellectual I'll suggest that the degree of harmfulness depends on the complexity of the political/economic organization and the power it wields in global affairs.

If you want to argue that the government of the USA is wonderful and the best in the world and so on I'll roll my eyes at you and decide you must be stupid, and if you claim that neither you nor I am morally complicit in this government's crimes I'll respond that if you have a job, and/or live inside, and/or spend money, and/or pay taxes, and/or vote, and/or obey the law more often than not, then you cannot avoid being tainted by what "our" government does.

If you want to be perfect you'll have to sell all that you have and give the money to the poor, or just give it all away, and go off into the wilderness to live on whatever you find there. If you take benefit from this Order you are part of it.

That does not mean that any given anti-Imperialist has the right to blow you up while you're in line at Walmart, unless you're the kind of person with the kind of position in society that the only reason you'd be reading my rants on Facebook is because it's part of your job to spy on me. Ordinary Americans are by and large morally complicit despite themselves: if we know any better there ain't much we can do about it, yet. But it's that acknowledgement that we have been splattered with the filth of the mighty that gives us the moral obligation to make them stop that shit; it's the desire to be free of dirt that we don't deserve that should inspire us to make revolution. (But then I've been saying that since 1975, and look where it got me.)

Again, I've come to the conclusion that this world is so fucked up by pour species that the only real solution is human extinction. In accordance with that, as part of my basically anarchist morality, I shall be committing suicide sometime in the foreseeable future, most likely well before Trump's current term comes to its constitutional end; the longest I can see sticking around is to see how the 2028 federal elections go, if they happen at all. But because I am a free person, and because I'm prone to getting fed up rather suddenly, none of you has any legitimate right to expect me to be here this time tomorrow. I can see being surprised, I've been making plans for trying to improve my life over the course of this summer, but you never know.

As far as I'm concerned "the world" will end when I do, at least for me. That's good enough for me. But I seriously doubt that the personal extinction of David Fucking Perry will solve all the problems even in this neighborhood, so it's my opinion that anybody who is so fed up that they can't see a way to make the future better will join me in becoming nonexistent. One thing you can say about being unalive is that not only can you come to no further harm but no further harm can be done by you: the dead are almost as innocent as the never-born. "Count no one fortunate until s/he is dead."

[I'll post this to my blog and post a link to that here to give the AI bots something to chew on; I'm always kind of amazed when anybody reads this output of mine, and even more actually thinks about it, so those statistics at Blogger are probably not recording anything done by any of you.]

P.S. Again, if you expect me to go "yes dear, whatever you say dear," and mean it, you may feel free to go soak your head, as my father would advise me. I can live without any of you, but I can't live without me.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Genocide_definitions

What I Might Have To Say

 

 

I write because I have to, just to get it out. It's a manic logorrhea, something like Tourette's. The pressure builds and builds until I just can't hold it in. It's horrible, I know, this fevered flow of drivel. To spew without compunction  whatever's on my mind. But it could be worse, do understand, I could be on the phone: you'd have to hang up on me, or tell me I'm deranged. 

I'm not writing for an audience, that's too delusional for me. Besides to ease the pressure, I entertain myself. Some say it's only noise, but I swear I think it's funny. It might be better maybe if I had some kind of message, some content to communicate, some brilliance you could suck on and maybe chew a little. Nothing much, I know, I know, but there's a lot of that. An awful lot of nothing much. I can almost hear you gag.

I parody myself, that's what, I am a joke to me. I can't take me seriously either, the world has taught me that. I'm not sure which is better, to aim for comedy and fail or to find I'm comical despite my best intention. (Should there be a comma there? Insert one if it's needed.) I used to aim for literature, to be serious and wise, to show with my philosophy that I might have half a brain. So that someone might appreciate this thing I've made of me. Of course I failed. Alas, I say. What worthy thing could come from me?

So I type to entertain myself, to hear the words escape. I play word games I can't explain, make puns I won't explain,  and allude to other people's words I can't do better than. This style I cobble up from things that could not get away. It's the sound of one hand wanking, gripping only air. 

What else could I do, really? In this way at least I do express myself somehow. I beat around the bush so I don't get beaten up. I say next to nothing, because nobody's listening. There's nothing else to do with this  mess I've made of me.  

I've been alone too long, I think. I've forgotten what I mean. Or I've forgotten how to mean, perhaps that's more the thing. That brought me only pain, all the times I ventured that: I can't hate myself enough to be a proper masochist. But the urge to write, the need to say, surpasses understanding. And so I cannot but.

But if I had something to say what might I have to tell you? To confide, to confess how alone out here I am? 'I'm miles above you. Soon I'll splat.' Would that be good enough? Could you ever understand? Oh but if you did you would refuse me, you'd leave my hand ungrasped. I now better than to stick anything  out that way. So I'll fall to earth and then some, make a mighty indentation, with lots of cracks that radiate to show the lack of meaning. But I will do no wobbling off, I have no strength for that. If my resilience weren't all spent I'd not be sharing this, to an imaginary reader I dare not summon forth. 

I am alone, and sad, and old, and ailing, and I see no future. I would ask for aid or comfort, if such were possible. If there was anybody to whom I might direct my plea. But I won't. I can't. There isn't one out there. But since I find myself compelled to write I might as well have fun with this. Then I could go to bed convinced I've just been clever. 

So there. Tah-dah. Shazam I say! Alas!

  

The Telephone Game

 

 

In my youth I had a phone. From 12 to 18 it occupied most of my free time when I was home, not running wild or incarcerated. I used it to call girls, usually interesting  and intelligent ones, who were easy to look at when they gave me a chance to. 

I used it to be stupid at them. Spouting my half-baked opinions, my exaggerated  knowledge, my plethora of psychiatric symptoms, my general hated of everything but them. For hours at a time; usually a girl would give me about an hour, then I'd call another one. 

Some of them I actually met, got them naked in my bed, and sometimes they'd still speak to me afterward. Sometimes they'd even come back, even repeatedly. That's what I lived for, skin-to-skin contact, the hit of feel-good hormones, the not being totally alone with myself. I could think of nothing worse than to have no one to touch me. 

Most of them were out of my league of course. Everybody's family had more money than mine, and most of their homes didn't have roaches or fleas; everybody was better educated, I'd been bullied out of 8th grade, and very few were any crazier. There were bulimics, self-cutters, closet lesbians (except for me), girls who like me read for pleasure and got good grades easily (though they'd keep on through high school while I was in juvie jail), lonely girls who shared my use for sex, and of course girls who'd rather date older boys with cars and drugs but made time for me because they felt sorry for me.  Some seemed to like me, most liked it that I liked them, and I wasn't very hard to understand if they were so inclined.  Some fit several categories, I'd really ate life when they ditched me.

When I wasn't on the phone, or with a girl, or in bed wanting to kill myself, I was getting as high as could as often as I could on whatever was going around. My father understood me well enough to let other boys come over to get me high when it was too cold to party outside, all they had to do was share with me and not be mean or messy. That passed for friendship. As with my nubile companions I took what I could get.

Everybody thought I was gay, or should admit it; only the girls I got naked knew what "bisexual" meant. I did have some gay experiences, either with boys I was locked up with or older men who could make themselves useful. 
Looking back all those decades I think I should have had boyfriends too,  if I'd only known how to go about it, or if I'd let some of those straight boys stick their dicks in me. (Supposedly straight anyway; very few of them knew what "bisexual" meant either.) Maybe if I'd sucked their cocks they'd have liked me better, but I wasn't too glad to be insulted about it. The problem with those boys was they couldn't be grateful: had they been kind and gentle I'd have been very busy. So it was left to the females to use me for sex. It came easier for them, they had nothing to be ashamed of.

Only when I was blitzed beyond reach or making an excuse to cuddle did I not hate my life. All I imagined of the future when my parents finally threw me out was being homeless and broke: I had no idea how anybody successfully functioned in the world. All I wanted to do when I wasn't high or naked was drink coffee and read. Maybe someday I'd have understood The Portable Nietzsche. Or had somebody to discuss it with who respected my intellect, such as it was, who could help me understand about the world beyond my skin.  But I was too crazy, and too sad, and too stupid to respond properly to the handful who tried. 

Hindsight is all I have now. I never achieved anything but living inside more often than not, and I decided not to kill myself because the women kept me from it. The most seductive thing about me was being sad and lonely. Looking back I can see mostly nothing: missed opportunities, chances I never took, choices I never knew I had.

I'm 62 years old and almost through with life. My spine is out of whack, my hips are arthritic, and my brain is still broken. And the more I've learned of the world the more I despised, and the deeper my despair. 

But for the past 30-odd years I've avoided talking on the damn telephone. Put it in writing, if not in person, if you can make it past the barriers the world puts up around me.
   

 

 

An Old Man's Monday Morning

 

I dreamed I was kind of looking after a couple dozen homeless high school students, seniors mostly, who were living in an underground ruin, like an old basement, made into a dormitory with makeshift beds lined up in little rows. Till I played my music too loud one morning  and we got found out and evicted. It was horrible, all the guilt & shame. Those poor kids. 

Then I dreamed that my left knee was really bad and I was having a hard time getting to the free clinic to have it looked at. Till I got a ride from some young guys, including a crusty blond guy who was telling me about the troubles his bulimic transsexual friend was having. But my knee 

hurt so bad it was hard to absorb what he was saying. And then I had to piss, so I woke up. To find my knee was as bad as in my dream.

After aspirin & a couple rub-ons I can walk okay but it still hurts. As does my neck, my back, my hips, and my head. But at least I'm not constipated, and I'm around no young people whose lives I can ruin. 

I took naltrexone this morning so I ain't drinking away the pain, and I'm almost out anyway. I had a couple shots late  last night after everything wore off to put myself to sleep but then woke up a couple hours later hung over. Being buzzed all the time would make life hurt less but that as you know has its own problems. I'll probably have to stock up on muscle rub and capsaicin cream, and use my heating pad for my back. If only they made heating pads you could fasten to your neck. I'll want to finally get around to doing push ups again later, and maybe planks, once I'm able, that always makes me feel better when I do it. One good thing is this scale weighed me as just under 159#, and my pants still fit, and I can still walk and I'm still continent. Sometimes I think maybe I should look around thrift stores for a magic lamp.

Lottery tickets. When I can get out I might buy one, maybe MegaMillions, or maybe a cheap-ass scratch-off. That's about the only kind of hope I can consider at the moment.    

The Practice Of Morality

 "all human beings have the same morality"

You've got to be kidding.

I'd expect a nun's morality to put God first, her a close order second (though the first two might be reversed or equated), and the Church third, as morality in religieuse might correspond to her loyalities and her expectations of reward and punishment; from my reading it seems that that's how it worked out in Spain's American colonies. And of course her nunly role would come before any moral duties to the Natives at the Mission.

And a German soldier at the Russian Front would have a different morality from that. Morality depends on the person, the situation, the intended function, and the particular role. Once you start taking the real world into account moral universality falls apart quickly.

The moral standards I'd like to expect from anybody on the street anywhere begin with the negative Golden Rule, don't do to others what you don't want done to you. In theory at least that should be universal. Yet applying it strictly would rule out entire lines of work as immoral: prison guard, corporate lawyer, marketing advertiser, and so on. I would never have considered taking such jobs, but our society would fall apart if everyone shared my compunctions. And our society falling apart, however morally questionable it is, would bring harm to an awful lot of people. Even firing prison guards would harm their families. Could we tell a kid "you should have thought of that before you picked him for a father"?

Expecting an IDF soldier in Gaza to not do what he wouldn't want done to him would greatly decrease his job performance and even his chance of survival: such could be expected to avoid gang-raping a 12 year old, but not shooting an unarmed "terrorist" who's running away might get him disciplined. And for him to expect that the same should be done to him might mean he's mentally unwell.

What we should expect of you must depend on who you are.

My own moral standards were stricter and less relative when I was younger and had less life experience: it was based on "a human being should not..." But then I routinely violated my own standards without thinking about it, in fact I did very many things I should have never considered, and I really didn't know enough about real life to have any real basis for my judgments concerning other people's behavior. But I've had reason to look back on my past actions and factor them in to the ethical standards I've had the luxury of coming up with, so now I think I know what I'm talking about when I talk about morality.

Here's one example: every active member of Hamas should have expected that whatever he did while invading Israel would be done to him and/or his family and neighbors, both in terms of him as a human being and as a Hamas fighter. I'd like to expect him to apply the golden rule to Israelis at a music festival, for example to take prisoners alive and with minimal harm, i.e. acting with the moral right to expect the IDF to not summarily destroy whole cities. His morality might dictate he avoid provoking a "disproportionate" retaliation, at least. Especially considering the behavior the IDF has should in very many circumstances over a few generations.

But that's not what they did: by treating random people at a concert as embodiments of The Enemy they surrendered the moral right to expect that their people would treated humanely, or at least according to what we'd like to expect of soldiers in wartime. The flip side of the golden rule is "an eye for an eye," and if we value human well-being and human dignity, even if only for our own kind, we should keep that in mind while we make war.

In a world run according to the golden rule there would be no Israel, at least not like this one. But morality is neither natural nor universal: we are not born with any morality whatsoever, and the fact that we can articulate moral rules, let alone follow them or not, comes from our species being a total fluke. In real life following anything like the golden rule consistently is the difficult, and the difficulty increases with the complexity of the society and the number of people on Earth.

For example I very often buy from Walmart and Amazon, whose practices toward their workers violate the rules we're supposed to expect from employers. But I can't afford not to, because for one thing I need things delivered. Shutting down Amazon and Walmart would greatly inconvenience me, let alone the workers and their families. If America didn't have Walmart and Amazon we'd need to invent them, because of the way our society actually works. In a moral world there would be no Walmart, nor any need for one, but as it happens I have to be able to order a kitchen sink stopper/strainer for $1.59 and have it brought to this building. And whether I should apologize to anyone involved in that process would depend on how badly s/he needs that job, shouldn't it?

Even following the morals I'd like to apply to myself would be very difficult: in practical terms in my current physical condition I'd have to be homeless and do without SSI.  Which might damn well kill me.  So to spare myself that injury I'd be obligated to kill myself, because as I see it it's immoral to put anyone in that position, even for me to do it to myself. "Die rather than commit," as the great rabbis put it.

So I try to do the best I can come up with in my own life, to at least not seek to harm anyone directly, which gives me the right to expect to be left alone to get on with my life.  I'm even able to try to benefit some of my peers directly, which maybe I should do. 

What the world should expect of me must depend on who I am and the circumstances I find myself in. So I would die rather than shoot you and rape your daughters, indeed I should not do that to anybody, and I'd prefer that nobody do such things. But I decide what my morality must consist of, and nobody has the right to force me to think or do otherwise.

I am a fluke in a species of flukes. It would be impossible for great numbers of Americans to practice my morality, let alone the general run of human beings, and it would be unjust to expect them to. But then according to my rules our species should go extinct, or at least be drastically reduced in numbers and capability to cause harm.

So sitting here looking at the world out there I can say that everybody ought to be able to live at least as well as I do. But the flip side is that because that is practically impossible. So it's regrettable that the people of Gaza should die in the ways that they do, but in a global scale a few hundred thousand deaths is a good start. Morally speaking human existence has become an abomination. Even out behavior toward our own species is inexcusable. Look at the Middle East, for example.

As I see it, in absolute moral terms the only permissible action is suicide. That would be the most moral thing I could do, and I have reason to suggest that as many people as possible should follow my example. But then whether they should or not should depend on who they are and their situation, shouldn't it?

So from where I sit I can say all human beings  should have the same morality and work to make our species go extinct. But then I would say that, wouldn't I.

Save The Planet, Or Something

Haec declamatio in tres partes dividitur.



  I:

"Will you surrender now?"

 

"No! We're not all dead yet! Keep bombing!

 

("Sheesh, what is it with these people?")

 

["Look everybody! TheJews(R) are committing GENOCIDE!"]

 

"So have you have enough yet?"

 

"No! We'll resist until you kill us all, you genocidal Zionists!"

 

So who will win this game of Levantine chicken? Will everybody in Gaza die before Israel runs out of ammo? (Everybody except the terrorists hiding in the tunnels, anyway.)

 

Here's the thing: the ruling clique in the Zionist Entity have no shame whatsoever. And they're bigger, stronger, and more heavily armed. And when y'all say "Genocide!" they say "Maybe so. So what?"

 

If the object is to get everybody in Gaza who can't fit into the tunnels blown to smithereens and flattened by the rubble then Hamas' strategy is sound.

The Bibi Bunch goes "Oh well, why not? Let's give the place to Trump when there's nothing left to destroy."

 

That's the victim mentality for you: the Palestinians have been getting themselves killed by TheJews(R) for so many generations that's all they know how to do. 

 

"See how bravely we die!"

Hamas has decided it's better to be martyred than to surrender to Zionism. Which is fine by Israel, of course. The problem is that Hamas is taking everybody in Gaza down with them.

Genocide is when they load you on the trains by force and lock you in to you get to the death camps. What Hamas is doing is collective suicide, kind of like Jonestown except with noisy pyrotechnics.

If you're okay with that, if you don't care how many people in Gaza get destroyed, then keep supporting the "freedom fighters" silly "bravery." Whatever. As I see it every day that war continues is another baby step closer to human extinction: from that perspective it really doesn't matter where the dying is going on, or why. If Hamas has decided that the Arabs of Gaza must go extinct, from a misanthropic standpoint I can only applaud them. Look! See how bravely they get their people wiped out.

But you see I had assumed that y'all valued human life more than real estate disputes or Semite tribal feuds. That is I thought y'all were holding campus camp-outs because you are against all the killing. But that can't be it: if you were against those people getting killed you'd encourage Hamas to let their people go, to do its part to preserve human life.

Instead y'all anti-Zionists, like your resistance heroes, think it's fine and dandy if gobs of Arabs get killed or worse as long as it TheJews(R) who are doing it. Mass death by Israel beats surrendering your principles, right? You hate Israel more than you care about the Palestinians. You and Hamas. You'd rather Israel prove that Zionism is just like Nazism than you would see anybody left alive in the rubble. It's only really genocide if they all get killed, or as close to all of them as Israel and Hamas can manage between them.

So you're really just as misanthropic as I am, you just don't admit it to yourselves. You cheer on Hamas, whose venomous hatred of Israel is reducing the world's population by however many can be managed before Israel runs out of ammo. That's quite commendable when you get down to it, in a "save the planet: kill yourself" kind of way. It would be better if y'all "genocide" enablers were doing some of the dying yourselves, or maybe making dead if your stomachs are strong enough, but it's part of human nature to sacrifice the people you claim to care about instead of yourselves. It might be better for the Palestinians in Gaza if you didn't swear you care about them so much, without global mobs of cheerleaders Hamas might find something else to do, but why should I quibble? You support mass death. You support Israel and Hamas in making it happen. Every day is a lovely day when Arabs are dying, isn't it?

To be clear: if you think of the inhabitants of Gaza as fellow human beings, and if you value their human lives as much as you say you do, you would rather Hamas surrender before they all get killed. That is you would love these living humans more than you hate Israel. I know that's a hard thing to do, to consider The Oppressed to be people like yourselves, but it can be done if you try hard enough.

Try this: forget for a minute that it's Palestinians vs. Israel, resistance heroes vs. "genocidal" Jews, and imagine that it's some other two parties playing at war. The Netherlands and Belgium maybe, or Turkey and Greece. Neither party is the embodiment of evil: TheJews(R) are not involved. Would you feel the same? Would you applaud Greece for holding out until the last Hellene? Would you rather see Antwerp in ruins that let the Dutch score a win?

Fortunately your "anti-Zionism" hides the extent of your hatred for humanity: when TheJews(R) are busy killing you can cuss them out. No matter what you say the IDF will keep gittin' 'er dun, so that won't work, and you categorically refuse to let the Oppressed surrender before they're all killed so that's not working either. You really don't want the killing to stop. You want Israel to keep going and going and going. Because that justifies your hated of them: you get to say "Look! They're just like Nazis!"

If the war stopped while there were a few hundred thousand Palestinians in Gaza to crawl out from the ruins and dust themselves off that would mean the genocide is incomplete, and that just won't do. The more Arabs die the more evil Israel is, or something. You want Israel to be Satan incarnate, "the destroyer of worlds." Then you can hate TheJews(R) with a clear conscience.

II:

Me, I really don't care that much: dead people are dead people, Arabs will do. In Sudan it seems the Sudanese who say they're black are the flat-out victims of those who say they're Arabs, the RSF is out to "cleanse" the place, but it's not such a spectacle: there are no Jews there, only Africans. And they all look black to us, whatever their religion. It's pretty much the same thing though, at heart: in Gaza it's the Arabs who are doing the dying, in Sudan it's the Arabs who are doing the killing. Either way a lot of people are becoming unalive: their troubles are over, and they're not making trouble, that's all that counts.

It would be even better if there was some hellacious mass dying going on that none of us here knows anything about, then we wouldn't have to get ourselves all worked up about it. It's not like getting upset and waving signs will accomplish anything, killers gotta kill, so why can't they they just do it quietly?

I bet the Chinese are still genociding the Muslims in Xinjiang, but it we don't see it on TV or in Google News, so it's all to the good. Fewer people means fewer sentients suffering and less ecological damage. It's too bad they have to go in such a violent fashion, people could just drink the Flavor Aid themselves, but that would take too much common sense for your average human to do it. They'd rather be shelled for months on end, or spend months on end eating rice gruel while learning "Communism," than they would just get it over with.

"Life is pain." Ask Schopenhauer, or Buddha.

That's the problem, you see, too many people are gluttons for punishment. But there's plenty of popcorn, and we're not going to do anything substantial to fix our own society, so we'll watch as long as it's shown to us. It would be better if those of us who are superfluous, who are not nursing babies or curing cancer, would just lay down and die: five billion fewer humans would do the world a lot of good. But we'd rather by the T-shirt than lift a finger, so whatever. Life goes on. And we suffer.

III:

As I keep saying, I plan to kill myself before very long anyway, unless my life suddenly improves beyond my imagining. Until then I've got to wave the banner of the Church of Euthanasia, which might still exist or at least the website does. I do this without permission and I'm doing it for free, but somebody has to, and nobody does it here with my peculiar flair. This amuses me, in fact I crack me up, so it's worth doing. As far as I'm concerned, and I'm David Fucking Perry.

Like I've hinted a few times I could be persuaded to shut the FUCK up, if I had something better to do, but that would mean somebody would have to lift a finger for another human being, who is after all only me. And who am I? For six months now I've been posting to The World that I'm about done, in unless somebody helps, but the only thing I get is requests for money.

Well, okay, I got one invitation to an event that I'm just not physically up to doing, but I appreciate the thought: I'm a despicable Zionist, if you squint hard enough, but for one person at least that doesn't rule me out. Hooray hooray. But the only things we can do together is argue and commiserate, while the whole time I'm thinking "I'm sorry it's you but I'm glad it isn't me." (And no I don't take it personally: in some ways "despicable Zionist" is a step up, isn't it Loopy?)

So what else is there? Instead of servicing my credit card debt I've been doing what my Daddy taught me, just on principle, now that I get it and now that I can, but I can't keep on like that if I intend to live a while longer. I've got more credit than income, and if I max out my cards that's it for me.

As I keep saying I'm about done in, I can't imagine my life not going further downhill even faster, not even at the maximum dose of two antidepressants. Do I have to make a list of individuals to ask for ideas?

But anyway. "Save the planet, kill yourself!" Or get some evil Zionists to do it for you, I suppose. It's all the same to me. While I sit here alone with a bad back and a broken brain, being effluently fluent in some version of verbiage.

You could pretend I'm Palestinian. If that would help. I don't know why you would, you have the disadvantage of being as human as I am without the advantage that comes from being me. But whatever. I'm running out of ideas and the fumes are almost gone.

If I could do any better than this I'd be doing it, if I could think of anything I have the energy for.

As the yard dogs say when they see me walking by: HEY! HEY! HEY HEY!

 

"Volunteers, Volunteers!"

 

The issue is whether the imposed "peace" is better than being bombed flat. I would prefer the Last Stand, the martyr's death, but that's easy for me to say: I never had kids, I'm not tight with my family, I don't even have the responsible accountability of keeping a pet. Nobody depends on me, nobody has any right to miss me very much. I could get shot by a stormtrooper and nobody would be deprived thereby. 

 

(Except I should've thought about life insurance before I turned 50, so not only will my demise profit nobody but my family will have to pay for my cremation and burial themselves: if my body is never found they'll get a dead Davey for free.)

 

Someone who is the sole support of the family should try *not* to get run over by a tank. Someone with two kids who gets no child support should be careful about what websites you visit on your employer's time. That kind of responsibility is the opposite of freedom. But most of the world's cultures are built around the idea of responsibility. So yes, you want to be able to tell your grandkids (or somebody's) that you stood up for what is right, but if you own kids get homeless, sick, and dead because of your actions you have failed as a parent. You can't afford real freedom and real dignity: you owe everything to those you pledged your soul to. 

 

If participation in a cross-border pogrom gets your village exploded you have failed your neighbors. The survivors especially. And if you were explicitly complicit in that risk then you have not only failed your neighbors, you have sacrificed them. And if your own kids were harmed because of what you did you might be a good Palestinian (or whatever) but you are also a damn fool.

Like I said, that's why I never had kids, never took on a lot of responsibility, and never sought any power over anyone else, so that I can be free. At least as far as my own behavior is concerned.

Nobody is going to lose anything if I set myself on fire by the courthouse, and nobody has any right to ask me not to. But there are some things I simply won't do because it violates my version of the Golden Rule, like riot in my own neighborhood or blow up thre local police station. One of the reasons I feel justified in demanding my own freedom is that I arrogate no control over anyone else's life, or as little as possible.

So that's the issue I have: knowing what would happen to Gaza if Hamas did that they did it anyway. Surely they knew what they were getting their family and friends into: since 1967 the Zionist Entity has loudly been the biggest gorilla on the block. If you value your life, the lives of your children, your entire blipping city, you might not want to piss them off. And if you consciously choose to sacrifice them in the name of Principle you'd better hope they die quick. And wanting to get those 72 virgins seems like a feeble motive for all that.

Look at what's happening in Gaza. Can you say, which ever side you're on, that your tactical goals are worth all that human suffering? Isn't all that a bit sordid?

 

I can say "Bite me!" and "So what!" because not only am I god damned independent but I'm also a curmudgeonly misanthrope who looks forward to human extinction. A few thousand people squashed by rubble brings us one step close to nullity. So. Do you want an asshole like me getting your family blown up?

 

Terrorism is not the answer. That's too damn arrogant. Organize a general strike, or a broadly-based revolution. Or just kill yourself quietly somewhere, like I'll do eventually.

 

There's nothing liberating or empowering about being "ethnically cleansed." And if your people need ethnic cleansing let them tell you so. Don't go volunteering civilians for it like it's a Good Thing.

"Hey! Teacher!"

 Eventually the Nazis made WW2 into a war on the Jews, in his mind anyway, and the Germans held the Soviets up just long enough to kill every Jew they could find. Read the history, that's what it amounts to.

Of course Israel relates everything to the Holocaust. That's the worst thing that happened to them since Biblical times. A strange thing happens when they put your families through that, they flip the fuck out. It even becomes punishment for for Israel's sins, for "acting the whore" with the powers of the day. Or worse yet their daughters and their gods. That's the Ezra/Nehemiah tradition.

I haven't kept up on the subject, but I have heard about some rebbe using the Shoah to punish Israel for its sins. Renew the Covenant. Get right with god. Through his agency. I'd gather there's been a lot of that going on for the past 80 years. I don't see how anybody could swallow that shit, that's good enough proof that YHWH is one mean son of a bitch, if he exists at all. I lost my faith over something much more mundane and tedious, and a whole lot smaller.

And then there's the side that wants revenge. They want to punish the "agents of God" who did this to them. That's more understandable than masochism, and it's stronger You say that Israel uses the Holocaust as a weapon, and as a justification for is occasional tantrums, as they're called. They also allege that they have a worldwide network of espionage and influence, and occasional unorthodox business deals that the IRS drools over, unless forbidden by their bosses, the advisors to the relevant Secretary of Whatever. You suspect secret treaties that continue to this day. And you know what? Somehow that sounds possible. And no pillars of fire are needed. Yeah, I can picture revenge.

And I don't fucking blame them. I disagree with too damn many Israeli government policies and procedures, but I support TheJews(R) right to exist. By whatever means necessary. Even retroactively, or to ward off future threats. These people's thirst for revenge is the best thing about them. Or retaliation, too damn often. Because some in the gentile world, and all of Islam, keeps attacking them. So they'll bomb you city into a smoking ruin. Or make all your pages and cellphones explode. Because you asked for it. You know what you get when you do that to them. So why don't you just leave them alone? Stop trying to kill them. Or letting their rightists claim that's going on, by having a merry cross-border pogrom and taking hostages. If Hamas didn't exist they'd have to create it. Because on a broad scale Jews are not likely to be much better human beings than the people they live among.

So keep attacking Israel verbally and live in person, waving signs in the streets while other forces shoot at them, as y'all anti-Zionists have been doing for decades. Stop handing their ruling strata justification for that assumption.

Something strange happens when basically all of Europe tried to wipe out the Jews forever. They had roundups in Paris, in Budapest, and IIRC fucking Oslo. And then after the war y'all gathered them into another fucking camp, for the crime of being DPs, so maybe they'll trickle out after a while. That's what they make of y'all waving signs cussing aggressively at them. The police in those European cities were coopted into the SS and the Army, in their offices and with guns on the streets. Volunteers would step out of the blue and offer to help. Some from ideology, and some from simple greed.

And every time you march by the millions against them you rub it in that you know it makes them feel threatened. As if feeling threatened by attempts at murder and torture is some kind of weakness. But to me their defensiveness is what they should be doing. Have you ever heard of honor? Maybe self-respect? Surely you've seen such things in movies. And no bloody wonder. You bring it on yourselves.

The way to get Israel, if not TheJews(R), to calm down is to be nicer to them. Show the you understand. That in their place you might get a bit twisted yourselves. Show then some respect, at least as official policy. And stop letting Palestinians give them pretexts to get all upset and show it.

Jew and Gentile alike, we're an animal species, and animals have ways that things are done. Whether instinct or tradition. If a species is to survive it must be able to maintain itself. If any of us were preyed on relentlessly for hundreds of years we'd develop the same mechanisms. Even TheJews(R) have to do this shit to keep being Jews.

I don't see why they held out that long, why they resisted being dejewed, de-Judaised, long enough to develop millions of Jews for millions of haters to kill. Moses Mendelssohn explained to the nations that TheJews(R) are not out to get them and tried to prove that often, and told his own people "be a man in the street and a Jew at home."

His kids went perfunctorily Reform, and their kids became secular gentry. Jews nowhere except by last name. You know what happened: the sanest of TheJews(R) were bought off or brought down, with predicable effects on their culture and their gene pool. Y'all were slowing making them ex-Jews. And that's all most of them knew how to do: be Jews. When you show them it's possible they might take the hint. But if all most of 'em ever see of you is your bullies they might want to get the fuck away from you. Them and their families. People who do Judaism for a living.

In such a position they might forget that becoming ex-Jews is even possible. Especially when their enemy judges them by phenotype. How do you change who your ancestors were?

"We gave you that chance or 3000 years and most of you didn't take it, or died refusing it. Don't you think we'd have grown bored with that? We hunt foxes, we can get ideas."

The Nazis wanted to unalive every Hebrew on Earth, and they managed to render six million of them. With he help of all their neighbors, everybody in the province. To the west or the east. Whole countries joined in, like France and Hungary. Even Franco sent a contingent, though he was a bit peeved that the Nazis "advised" him do so much in Spain, but then demanded to bleed Spain dry against the Soviets. Why the hell should they care about the damn Soviets? Spain almost went extinct in their last civil war, how could they go to war against Judeo-Bolshevism? So the government officially kept out of it, and in most cases tried to avoid Germans. Not even Franco's got a long enough spoon.

But a few hundred thousand of disaffected Spanish youth did on a crusade, to be used as decoys by the Romanians. Among others. Eastern Europeans. Real Jew-haters. Hating Jews is what they do for a living. It's their coal mine, so to speak. It's all they know how to do, that and be peasants. Their church tells them so.

Now compare to Spain, which got over that shit after a while. It was ancient history, like the Netherlands selling Manhattan. Long long ago. "Sure we teach our kids about it, but you don't expect us to do anything about it do you?"

So a few years later the Nazis were put on trial over that, every conqueror wants to show more force. For not getting away with what many others, including Franco, said was a crazy stunt that could never end well. Try to wipe out a big category of people? Did the Hitlerites learn nothing from Spain's experiences? They needed Italians making Westerners in what used to be Grenada. They'd done their share of "wiping out evil" just recently.

And the government of the UN victors when farther. After the war they had to decide how to solve the problem of TheJews(R). They were still dithering when the Zionists swiped eretz yisrael from the British, then beat back the British-officered Jordanian Army. They stole it fair and square. That's what ever power before them has done. The Murricans have Manhattan, the Mexicans have Yucatan. That's how things are done. They've been helping "us" do it for 400 years, or more. It's only fair they have their own national home. Everybody who's anybody has one of those. They've earned it. So let's do business with them.

France and Germany will never go to war against Israel. They can't afford to. They have their own post-colonists to exploit, and that's what they do for a living. Ever since thee Romans demanded they enter the slave trade. For two thousand years, more or less. They can't bleed TheJews(R) dry so they do business with them. They grew the hell up. Even if an EU country was sure it could beat the IDF they'd have better things to do. "To the victor belong the spoils." (First, try not to lose.)

What's Israel's record, how many wins has it made? At this point they're just another club. They've been issued the proper RF. So why won't the Palestinians just shut up? "You lost. Pipe down."

SO. Not trying to genocide TheJews(R) is a good thing to do. For practical reasons, as well as what we tell ourselves. If France and Germany can leave Israel alone, or trade arms with it, why can't the Arabs? Stop gang-raping Jewish maidens, for one thing. They got a bit tired of that long ago. And I don't blame them. A tribe has to do what a tribe has to do. For as long as it has to be a tribe.

Personally I'd rather we identify by species instead of some specious marketing niche. So we need global communism. Y'all have the "right" of nationalist promotions, and it's bullshit. Stop doing that. If the top 1% can't afford it, how can we?

Let Israel have peace. Let them beat swords into plowshares like they're supposed to, "saith the Lord." They've learned to be a better kind of Jew. So let's give them credit. Lots of it. "Let's trap TheJews(R) by usury." maybe. Let's grant them that. And let's do business with them. TheJews(R) have grown up.

Why can't the Arabs? Why won't the disaffected Harvard students? Emulate the UC Berkeley student body. Throw a tantrum, add in another tantrum, then grow out if it.

So why can't the descendants of the servants of the Sultan? Why can't they take a hint? They should stop being hostile and get down to business. Learn from the Germans. They learned to accept Israel into the UN. (Which set the precedent
for swapping in "Red China" by the way.) It doesn't pay to persecute TheJews(R).

Let the Palestinians learn to do business with them. Instead of gang-raping their daughters to death. What is wrong with those people? Have they no common sense, not half a wit among them? You say TheJews(R) are all about business? Do business with them then.

Leave TheJews(R) and/or the State Of Israel alone. Give the demagogues something more profitable, or more valued, to do. Try, oh, "Hey teacher, leave TheJews(R) alone," (It's easy once you know how.)

Serious Poses

 

They say memory plays tricks on you. That every time you remember something some detail will change. Maybe the light, the angle, or the sound. 

I'd been hanging out every night till almost dawn for almost a week, eating and sleeping as little as I could get by with, spending the rest of my time running the streets of Wooster smoking everybody's pot and drinking everybody's beer. Wind me up and watch me go. This crazy hippie from somewhere else, somewhere real far out there. Who just popped up one day and intruded all over. What adventures I had.

I don't remember much of that one night, in big house full of middle class jock types wondering where I came from, till something set me off and I got hostile for no reason. I recall this senior yanking me up in the air by the head, yelling something at me, his thumbs digging in to my face just in front of my ears. I've been having this memory for 45 years, awake and dreaming both, and I can't keep track of the details very well  but I can say that sometimes I don't wet my pants. 

It could have been worse, there were too many witnesses, among them my girlfriend who'd sworn she was a virgin. He had every right to do worse. All he'd done to provoke me was be the handsomest, best built, most popular jock in the room. But it was only a Swiss Army knife, and I only weighed about 115# then. I even got my knife back.

After that she'd try to make me understand that it wasn't over, a few of those jocks were planning out where and when to beat me to death with their bare hands, and that she'd never live it down already, so I'd better just go. But I was too in love with her, in that desperate way crazy 15 year olds get, and it sounded way out of proportion. There no way anybody would go that far over something that trivial. I did have an idea to make it right: walk in to the next Friday's party to walk right up to him, apologize in public, thank him for not hurting me, and hand him a six pack of Michelob or something. And then leave and not bother them again.

She said not to bother with that it would only make things worse for me.

I told her if she wanted me to go away she could just tell me, there's no need to make up some boogieman story. Something like that. I don't recall her answer.

After about three days she told me to gather up my stuff from where I'd been crashing and come to her place, so I did. She had a big purse stuffed with god knows what, and more determination that I'd seen all week. 

We were running away together, right there and then, hitchhiking back to my parents; place in Baltimore, her and me. So we did, we traveled for 18 hours straight and six or seven rides, this 15 year old country girl and her scrawny hippie boyfriend. When I asked what brought that on she said she had to get me out of there before they got to me, and neither of us could afford bus tickets. 

That's not the end of the story, that was a long summer of tumult, but those are the parts I've been reliving over and over for the past twenty-odd years. And the emotions that come over me were not the ones I'd felt then, I was too strung out, but what anybody in his right mind should have felt: the shame, the gratitude, the wanting to drop dead.      

    

  

The Real Meaning

 

As great thinker once said, "A lot of the time the real meaning isn't very important to us."

It can't be, not to folks like us. We can't afford it. How did we live this long? Passing on a Social Role. That's what we do. Sometimes we're lucky, sometimes we're not. But we do know what a Social Role is, and we try to differentiate between them.

Your script said "Have a wife and kids."

Mine said "Better yet, run for the hills."

I don't recall any of you ever mentioning your kids are on parole or in treatment programs. While I grew up under such conditions, and somehow knew better than to replicate that bug.

All along you had a point. You talked sense. Whether I agreed or not, it made sense to me. There are those who think they ought to breed and in a certain way, and then there's all the people who come to it by accident. You're basically swearing yourself to your kids and vice versa, while I can't imagine what that's like. Okay I could, but as a total fantasy that had little chance of coming true. The lottery is another such gamble.

I hope you're right about the value of the genes you're passing on. Because some of my genes are too heavy to tote around. If I'm making a mistake there's nobody to notice it, but if you're mistaken, well... Of course I hope you're right. For everybody's sake, including mine. Why would I not?

 

Your Obvious Mistakes

 

The basis of my position is that y'all should stop producing weirdos to torment. The situation has been so bad, and has recently gotten much worse, that you're not able to fix it, indeed many of you don't even think anything's wrong. your societies don't want misfits, and except for a tiny few celebrated examples all you do is beat on us. You are incapable of truly moving the world to accept "exceptions," except maybe if they're "trans" (that will soon go away), and you don't know how to use what we can do to make your societies better. Your world wants Pete Hegseth and Tulsi Gabbard, not David Fucking Perry. As the misfit I know best, I should not be here. You never knew what to do with me, you simply don't deserve me. 

 

You might feel insulted because you voted for the Democrat, but people like you made the choice between Harris and Trump possible. The political machines created two candidates to choose from. Maybe the choice wasn't as starkly awful as when Cheeto was opposed by Hillary, the Democrat incarnate, but then Trump won this time by a bigger margin didn't he. The USA is a hopeless cause. The best you'll be able to do is to slow down the downward spiral, reduce the harm you'll leave to future generations. Make nothing but "normal" people. Find a few serviceable models and standardize them. Invent a better cookie cutter. Prevent defectives, and euthanize those sports who'll happen anyway. Spare future generations from the pain inflicted by your world. Spare your society the trouble.

You don't want people who need the maximum dose of two antidepressants to keep from getting executed during a "mental health crisis." Nope. Your world wants people who saw all the Star Wars prequels and can discuss them in order. Who shop at Target because of the people of Walmart. Who proudly wear corporate logos (including college sports teams, T-shirts that hide me just enough so I don't get called "fa**ot"). People who most of the time don't know what I'm talking about (unless it's all over Google News at the time), and don't care. People who right away agree with everything I'm saying here (but might be insulted by the way I say it), as if I'm just pointing out the obvious. You want Zaden and Destahneigh. My ilk just gets in the way.

Have mercy on us. Don't make us anymore.